have you made a jin today?

[zukkokya]

MY LIFE (Alt. Title -- Why I'm Clearly Unqualified for Independent Living):

[Lights up on the dormitory suite of an NYC university. Girl stands before the refrigerator holding a large container of strawberries. The refrigerator is stuffed to bursting. She contemplates her plight. She begins foisting strawberries off on suitemates/friends/people in the hallway. Still, soon it is two AM and there is half a container left. She makes Brave Face and eats. Them. All. Enter Suitemate of Incredible Awesomeness.]

SIA: Paper going well?

[Girl looks up from sprawl on floor.]

GIRL: Yes. I foresee a breakthrough.

SIA: Where are the strawberries?

GIRL: I ate them.

SIA: ...All of them?

GIRL: I didn't want them to go bad. Refrigerator's full.

SIA: ...So. Um.

[Girl senses bad times coming soon. Tilts head back suspiciously.]

GIRL: What?

SIA: You don't have to keep strawberries in the refrigerator.

GIRL: ...Stop speaking RIGHT NOW.

SIA: That's why they're not in the cooled part of the store. You should, um, look this stuff up before you decide to eat a pound of something.

[Beat.]

GIRL: How...how much longer do I have?

SIA: Not long. A week. Maybe two hours.

GIRL: Curse you, strawberries! [Flails one arm in Decidedly Unthreatening Manner.] I have a disease!

SIA: Yeah, it's called stupidity.

GIRL: Hating you now.

SIA: Is there any pizza left?

GIRL: OUT. OUT.

[Lights down.]

SCENE 2

[Lights up. It's 9:02, and Girl crawls onto the common room couch. Lies in a position that does not look--is not--comfortable. Sobs.]

GIRL: STRAWBERRIES. STRAWBERRIES. STRAAAAWWWBERRIEEEEES.

[Lights down.]


Be honest, how many of you want my brain? I AM WAY GENIUS. SMARTER THAN--njajhjffkk. Oh my ghei, I hurt. *dies more*

ETA: WHY ARE PEOPLE EATING AROUND ME? DO NONE OF YOU HAVE DECENCY?! THEY EAT NEAR ME BUT THEY WILL NOT SHOOT ME. lknm,als;

Comments

Bravisimo! I like this play!

[thistwistedfate.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHA...lovely. I didn't know stupidity was a disease. :D

PS: What are you up to on Sunday? I don't think I have anything to do ALL day. Whoa.

Re: Bravisimo! I like this play!

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

I THINK I SHOULD PRESENT IT TO MY CLASS. And yes, it is, although the medical term is collegius moronus.

Nothing in the afternoon. WE SHOULD DO THINGS OF A FUN NATURE TOGETHER.

*returns to pain and anguish*

[wintersjuly.livejournal.com]

Oh hon, of all things to get food poisoning from, it had to be strawberries.

In conclusion: You are brilliant and special (in that really special way that only certain JE idols can be) ♥

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

I'VE BEEN JE HAZED. ... AND THE ONLY WAY TO GET HAZED IN JE IS WHEN YOU DO IT TO YOURSELF, AMIRITE.

[wintersjuly.livejournal.com]

OR WHEN YAMAPI'S BOOBS HAZE YOU WITH THEIR GREAT AND TERRIBLE PRESENCE :D

OR TAKKI'S -

God I've put too much thought into this.

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

AHAHA, WELCOME TO MY WORLD. ORIENTATION'S AT NOON. PICK UP A PAMPHLET. THERE ARE NAKED PEOPLE IN IT.

[wintersjuly.livejournal.com]

XDDDD - THERE ARE NAKED PEOPLE HOLDING K-MART SHOPPINF BAGS \:D/

lasjkajda holy god I'm getting up in like six hours to go to work. I must be off to sleep. FEEL BETTER OKAY? ♥

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

I WILL TRY TO DO THIS THING YOU ASK OF ME. I WILL STARE AT THIS ICON UNTIL THE PAIN LEAVES.

Y'know what I realized just now as I still wasn't writing my paper? We're both nineteen. So why aren't you stupid like me? Join me, it's fun! YOU JOIN THE COMPANY OF SUPAHSTAHS LIKE JIN AND AIBA.

[darkeyedwolf.livejournal.com]

HOW'D THE PAPER GO. :)))

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

OH, IT'S GOING. IT'S NOT DUE UNTIL THREE HOURS AGO. :/

[saaski-moql.livejournal.com]

...strawberries? What a way to go.

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

It's a lot funnier today.