have you made a jin today?
Mar. 29th, 2007 08:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zukkokyaMY LIFE (Alt. Title -- Why I'm Clearly Unqualified for Independent Living):
[Lights up on the dormitory suite of an NYC university. Girl stands before the refrigerator holding a large container of strawberries. The refrigerator is stuffed to bursting. She contemplates her plight. She begins foisting strawberries off on suitemates/friends/people in the hallway. Still, soon it is two AM and there is half a container left. She makes Brave Face and eats. Them. All. Enter Suitemate of Incredible Awesomeness.]
SIA: Paper going well?
[Girl looks up from sprawl on floor.]
GIRL: Yes. I foresee a breakthrough.
SIA: Where are the strawberries?
GIRL: I ate them.
SIA: ...All of them?
GIRL: I didn't want them to go bad. Refrigerator's full.
SIA: ...So. Um.
[Girl senses bad times coming soon. Tilts head back suspiciously.]
GIRL: What?
SIA: You don't have to keep strawberries in the refrigerator.
GIRL: ...Stop speaking RIGHT NOW.
SIA: That's why they're not in the cooled part of the store. You should, um, look this stuff up before you decide to eat a pound of something.
[Beat.]
GIRL: How...how much longer do I have?
SIA: Not long. A week. Maybe two hours.
GIRL: Curse you, strawberries! [Flails one arm in Decidedly Unthreatening Manner.] I have a disease!
SIA: Yeah, it's called stupidity.
GIRL: Hating you now.
SIA: Is there any pizza left?
GIRL: OUT. OUT.
[Lights down.]
SCENE 2
[Lights up. It's 9:02, and Girl crawls onto the common room couch. Lies in a position that does not look--is not--comfortable. Sobs.]
GIRL: STRAWBERRIES. STRAWBERRIES. STRAAAAWWWBERRIEEEEES.
[Lights down.]
Be honest, how many of you want my brain? I AM WAY GENIUS. SMARTER THAN--njajhjffkk. Oh my ghei, I hurt. *dies more*
ETA: WHY ARE PEOPLE EATING AROUND ME? DO NONE OF YOU HAVE DECENCY?! THEY EAT NEAR ME BUT THEY WILL NOT SHOOT ME. lknm,als;
[Lights up on the dormitory suite of an NYC university. Girl stands before the refrigerator holding a large container of strawberries. The refrigerator is stuffed to bursting. She contemplates her plight. She begins foisting strawberries off on suitemates/friends/people in the hallway. Still, soon it is two AM and there is half a container left. She makes Brave Face and eats. Them. All. Enter Suitemate of Incredible Awesomeness.]
SIA: Paper going well?
[Girl looks up from sprawl on floor.]
GIRL: Yes. I foresee a breakthrough.
SIA: Where are the strawberries?
GIRL: I ate them.
SIA: ...All of them?
GIRL: I didn't want them to go bad. Refrigerator's full.
SIA: ...So. Um.
[Girl senses bad times coming soon. Tilts head back suspiciously.]
GIRL: What?
SIA: You don't have to keep strawberries in the refrigerator.
GIRL: ...Stop speaking RIGHT NOW.
SIA: That's why they're not in the cooled part of the store. You should, um, look this stuff up before you decide to eat a pound of something.
[Beat.]
GIRL: How...how much longer do I have?
SIA: Not long. A week. Maybe two hours.
GIRL: Curse you, strawberries! [Flails one arm in Decidedly Unthreatening Manner.] I have a disease!
SIA: Yeah, it's called stupidity.
GIRL: Hating you now.
SIA: Is there any pizza left?
GIRL: OUT. OUT.
[Lights down.]
SCENE 2
[Lights up. It's 9:02, and Girl crawls onto the common room couch. Lies in a position that does not look--is not--comfortable. Sobs.]
GIRL: STRAWBERRIES. STRAWBERRIES. STRAAAAWWWBERRIEEEEES.
[Lights down.]
Be honest, how many of you want my brain? I AM WAY GENIUS. SMARTER THAN--njajhjffkk. Oh my ghei, I hurt. *dies more*
ETA: WHY ARE PEOPLE EATING AROUND ME? DO NONE OF YOU HAVE DECENCY?! THEY EAT NEAR ME BUT THEY WILL NOT SHOOT ME. lknm,als;
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no subject
Date: 2007-03-29 02:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-29 02:17 pm (UTC)lasjkajda holy god I'm getting up in like six hours to go to work. I must be off to sleep. FEEL BETTER OKAY? ♥
no subject
Date: 2007-03-29 02:23 pm (UTC)Y'know what I realized just now as I still wasn't writing my paper? We're both nineteen. So why aren't you stupid like me? Join me, it's fun! YOU JOIN THE COMPANY OF SUPAHSTAHS LIKE JIN AND AIBA.