c'est la vie, c'est la PORN!

[zukkokya]

Today after I left my defective darling with the tech people, I walked up to Rockefeller Center to mope in Kino (Japanese bookstore). Saw ridiculously attractive boy, forgot what I wanted to look for, got something better to look at instead. *THUMBS UP* Waved at him, got a blink and then a grin. Skimmed a book on the yakuza, then wandered outside to the farmer's market in the Center. Bought a bunch of carrots, white cherries and an ear of corn for two dollars and fifty cents.

VEGGIE GUY: Dollar fifty.
SELF: Whoa.
VEGGIE GUY: What?
SELF: [blink] What?

FRUIT GUY: [weighs cherries] One dollar.
SELF: Only one?
FRUIT GUY: [head tilt] Yeah...?
SELF: Whoo!
FRUIT GUY: [grin] You shop at Whole Foods, don't you?

Came home, made stew, drank tea, hunted down my old laptop and I'm now watching The Muppet Movie. Have decided Ohno should sing 'Rainbow Connection' dressed up as Kermit. Rainbows, dude. He's sort of obligated. Also, Subaru=Gonzo.


SO NOW. To distract myself from the impending agony of four days of waiting until anyone gives me a status update on my defective darling, I propose a MEME.


THE SMUT MEME.

Comment with a pairing, place and position and I'll reply with a few paragraphs of porn. *BEAMS*

HIT ME UP, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.


ETA: As my lovely assistant Laura has demonstrated, you may comment more than once. XD

ETA JR: Got any more, flist? *cackles, throws down gauntlet*

Comments

[spurious.livejournal.com]

JOKI, UP AGAINST A WALL IN A CLUB

[spurious.livejournal.com]

BARYO ON A ROOFTOP WITH RYO IN SUBARU'S LAP

[spurious.livejournal.com]

RYOPI

UM

COVERT HANDJOBS ON A TRAIN

[spurious.livejournal.com]

JIN/SUBARU BECAUSE OUR FAVORITES ARE REALLY HOT TOGETHER A;LKSDJF GOING SHOPPING, SEX IN A DRESSING ROOM UP AGAINST THE WALL

[spurious.livejournal.com]

YOKO/AIBA IN SOMEPLACE WHERE THEY HAVE TO BE QUIET AND YOKO WON'T SHUT UP SO AIBA HAS TO KISS HIM

[spurious.livejournal.com]

YAMAPI PRACTICES LAPDANCING ON JIN IN THE STEAMROOM WHILE UEDA IS TRYING TO RELAX

[spurious.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA I LIKE YOUR EDIT

BARYO SEX ON THE BAR DID I ALREADY ASK YOU FOR THIS?

[spurious.livejournal.com]

NINO/JUN

UM UM

BACKSTAGE DURING A CONCERT, TEARING EACH OTHER'S CLOTHES OFF. BONUS POINTS IF CLOTHES ARE LITERALLY TORN.

[spurious.livejournal.com]

WRITE ME JIN GIVING A BLOWJOB TO THE PERSON OF YOUR CHOICE, IN A DIRTY BAR BATHROOM STALL.

[ilanala]

Eep. I hope you get everything back (and that waiting to find out if you did doesn't drive you too crazy).

Also, Subaru=Gonzo.

*dies* I really wish my friend who loves Muppets (and likes crossing them over with her other fandoms), and especially Gonzo was into JE so I could share how perfect this is with her.

Yay smut. I'm currently watching Shige's drama and he's looking quite nice, so I request Shige with whoever you want to write him with. Umm...in a park, at night.

[spurious.livejournal.com]

OH I WANT AKAME, WHAT WAS HAPPENING IN THE CAR BEFORE THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN

[spurious.livejournal.com]

COULD YOU WRITE TAKKIPI WITH TSUBASA WATCHING IN A NOT-ANGSTY SORT OF WAY BECAUSE IF YOU COULD I WOULD LIKE THAT

[spurious.livejournal.com]

I WANT RYO/KAME IN A CLOSET WITH RYO TRYING TO ASSERT HIS SUPERIORITY THROUGH SEX

[spurious.livejournal.com]

OHMIYA BLOWJOB ON THE COUCH IN NINO'S APARTMENT

[spurious.livejournal.com]

AIBA/ANYONE. WITH BLOWJOBS PLEASE. ARE YOU SEEING A PATTERN. IN THE BACKSEAT OF A CAR.

[spurious.livejournal.com]

RYO/JIN ON THE FLOOR IN A PRIVATE ROOM AT A RESTURANT

[spurious.livejournal.com]

JIN MIRACULOUSLY COPIES HIMSELF. FIRST THING HE DOES IS HAVE SEX WITH HIMSELF OF COURSE. IN HIS BED. THEN HE CALLS YAMAPI.

[spurious.livejournal.com]

JIN IS YAMAPI'S PET. EVERY DAY WHEN YAMAPI COMES HOME FROM WORK, JIN IS WAITING AT THE FRONT DOOR. ON HIS KNEES. YAMAPI REWARDS HIM FOR BEING A GOOD BOY ALL DAY.

[spurious.livejournal.com]

GOD I'M SUCH A PSYCHOPATH

YAMAPI WANKFIC PLZ UM IN THE SHOWER

[spurious.livejournal.com]

OH OH OH RYO/YOKO WHERE THEY ARE IN RYO'S APARTMENT ON THE COUCH LOOKING AT PICTURES OF LEAH DIZON AND THEY GIVE EACH OTHER AWKWARD HANDJOBS

[spurious.livejournal.com]

AIBA/JIN. THEIR BANDMATES LOCK THEM IN A ROOM TOGETHER BECAUSE THEY THINK THE COMBINED STUPID WILL BE HILARIOUS, THEY END UP FUCKING ON THE COUCH.

[spurious.livejournal.com]

THESE PREMISES ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE FLIMSY AS I GO ALONG

JIN/UEDA THEY ARE AT A MUSIC STORE, UEDA IS LOOKING AT GUITARS, JIN DRAGS UEDA OUT INTO THE BACK ALLEY FOR MAKING OUT AND MAYBE HANDS IN PANTS

[this-is-cd.livejournal.com]

spurious sent me. ^_^

Ummm.

PIN. AWKWARD, FIRST TIME IN A DRESSING ROOM. PERHAPS SOMEONE GETS HURT.

[spurious.livejournal.com]

SUBARU/HINA, SLEEPY MORNINGSEX.