have you made a jin today?

[zukkokya]

MY LIFE (Alt. Title -- Why I'm Clearly Unqualified for Independent Living):

[Lights up on the dormitory suite of an NYC university. Girl stands before the refrigerator holding a large container of strawberries. The refrigerator is stuffed to bursting. She contemplates her plight. She begins foisting strawberries off on suitemates/friends/people in the hallway. Still, soon it is two AM and there is half a container left. She makes Brave Face and eats. Them. All. Enter Suitemate of Incredible Awesomeness.]

SIA: Paper going well?

[Girl looks up from sprawl on floor.]

GIRL: Yes. I foresee a breakthrough.

SIA: Where are the strawberries?

GIRL: I ate them.

SIA: ...All of them?

GIRL: I didn't want them to go bad. Refrigerator's full.

SIA: ...So. Um.

[Girl senses bad times coming soon. Tilts head back suspiciously.]

GIRL: What?

SIA: You don't have to keep strawberries in the refrigerator.

GIRL: ...Stop speaking RIGHT NOW.

SIA: That's why they're not in the cooled part of the store. You should, um, look this stuff up before you decide to eat a pound of something.

[Beat.]

GIRL: How...how much longer do I have?

SIA: Not long. A week. Maybe two hours.

GIRL: Curse you, strawberries! [Flails one arm in Decidedly Unthreatening Manner.] I have a disease!

SIA: Yeah, it's called stupidity.

GIRL: Hating you now.

SIA: Is there any pizza left?

GIRL: OUT. OUT.

[Lights down.]

SCENE 2

[Lights up. It's 9:02, and Girl crawls onto the common room couch. Lies in a position that does not look--is not--comfortable. Sobs.]

GIRL: STRAWBERRIES. STRAWBERRIES. STRAAAAWWWBERRIEEEEES.

[Lights down.]


Be honest, how many of you want my brain? I AM WAY GENIUS. SMARTER THAN--njajhjffkk. Oh my ghei, I hurt. *dies more*

ETA: WHY ARE PEOPLE EATING AROUND ME? DO NONE OF YOU HAVE DECENCY?! THEY EAT NEAR ME BUT THEY WILL NOT SHOOT ME. lknm,als;