THE SCANDAL MEME

[zukkokya]

THE SCANDAL MEME

SO! I wrote and finished two fics today, so I'm doing a fic meme to relax. MY WORLD OF LOGIC, WELCOME TO IT. :DDD

Here's how this meme works:

Johnny has a pretty firm grip on the Japanese media, so for the sake of fun let's say he's had quite a number of scandal reports arrive on his desk that he's had to bundle up in secrecy so no one ever finds out about them.

Comment with a SCANDAL! and I'll write a drabble based on that SCANDAL!

For example:

Pairing/Characters: Takki/Tsubasa
SCANDAL!: Secretly and marvelously gay married. With kids.

Pretty simple, right? All righty!

Have at it!

Comments

[fuyukoi.livejournal.com]

Pairing/Characters: Takki/Tsubasa
SCANDAL!: Secretly and marvelously gay married. With kids.

How is that a scandal? That's reality o_o

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

...XD Are you using that as a prompt or are you just correcting my facts?

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

The easiest way to hide your fantastically gay marriage, Tsubasa's learned, is not to hide it. At all. He and Hideaki used to argue about that rock solid truth for years until Tsubasa went out to a club on his own to prove a point ("Hardly anyone really believes this stuff, Hide") and some of their drunker fangirls cornered him, pressed their breasts against his chest, and told him how beautiful his friendship with Hideaki is.

Hideaki claims he doesn't doubt it anymore, but Tsubasa suspects that his backing down has less to do with respect for the truth and more with keeping Tsubasa from proving any more points.


[I'M STARTING OVER BECAUSE THIS COULD GO ON LIKE THIS FOR A WHILE. XDDD]

[fuyukoi.livejournal.com]

Pairing/Characters: Takki/Tsubasa
SCANDAL!: Takki is spotted with having dinner with A Real Woman. With boobs and everything! o_o

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

I...DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH THIS. XD ARE YOU BEING FACETIOUS ABOUT IT BEING A WOMAN. IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE YAMAPI? Y'KNOW, BECAUSE BOOBS?

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

WAIT WAIT WAIT

I HAVE AN IDEA FOR THIS

OF COURSE IT COMES TO ME ON MY WAY TO WORK XDD

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

Kaede is a friend of Hideaki's sister, and she's exactly the kind of woman Hideaki hoped for in a process like this. She's clever and dry-humored and smart, and she's already been a surrogate once before. Also, she's known Hideaki since he was ten and so she's not daunted by his celebrity and is only mildly surprised by his revelation that he's gay.

All that aside, there's just something about her that Hideaki finds comforting, and at the end of dinner he's completely charmed and thrilled when she says she'd be happy to help him.


Johnny spreads four photos across his desk: Takki sitting across from some woman at an upscale restaurant in Ginza. Eyes crinkled at the corners, shining smile–she seems to have his undivided attention.

The woman has long black hair, a round chin, and wide eyes. She looks a fair bit like Imai in the photos where she's not smiling.

He tucks the photos back into their plastic folder and decides to wait for future developments.

[spurious.livejournal.com]

YAY THIS MEME

Subaru and Yasu, caught buying sex toys together. :D? :D? :D?

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

It wasn't exactly Subaru's fault. Yasu found a double-dipper vibrator in the section for male-on-male toys and the look on his face as he tried to figure out where in the male body it could possibly fit made Subaru laugh until he was wheezing. The commotion probably attracted someone's attention and–bam, potential scandal images.

Johnny doesn't even call them in for this one. Instead, he sends them the following email: Toys for men next time, please.

[spurious.livejournal.com]

Yoko, seen making out with a dude at a gay bar.

ILUR PROMPTS XDDDD

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

Tetsuya focuses on the guy's mouth for maybe too long, because by the time he makes eye contact, the guy looks freaked. Tetsuya smiles, a touch awkward, and considers walking away first; he wants to do things to that mouth that might make the poor guy pass out from fear. But then the guy clearly steels himself and Tetsuya smiles against warm, vodka-soaked lips.

The downside is that the guy is a terrible kisser. Tetsuya's not entirely put off by it, though–his second boyfriend was terrible in the same way, so Tetsuya does what he did with him. He wraps one hand around the guy's neck and squeezes hard whenever there's too much tongue or saliva slicks his cheek. After ten minutes, the guy's gradually improved to the point where Tetsuya's half-hard and determined to have those lips around his cock.

When he wraps one hand around the guy's belt to pull their hips together, the guy makes a startled noise and twists away. He stammers out an apology, eyes huge, and stumbles off into the crowd like there's gunfire behind him. Tetsuya almost follows him–he looked downright scared–but he stays put at the bar, sullen, and orders another shot.


When Yoko sees the photos on Johnny's desk, all he can think of to say is, "It's not Murakami," and Johnny says, "I know," slowly enough that Yoko wonders if the resemblance is just in his head.

[spurious.livejournal.com]

Matsujun, secretly involved in a fight club.

[bloodybrilliant.livejournal.com]

LSKDJFLSKDJFLKSDFJ I JUST SNORTED ALOUD
I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS!!!! JUN XD

[spurious.livejournal.com]

OKAY LAST ONE BEFORE I SLEEP.

Jin and Yamapi, smoking ALL OF THE POT.

[ryogrande.livejournal.com]

A+++++++++++++

[ilanala]

Someone relatively young, popular and unmarried has a kid. I'll leave it up to you who, but I think you know who I like. ;-)

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

Ryo only trusts two people alone with Mami-chan for more than thirty seconds. The first is Yoko. Ryo's seen Yoko with his younger brothers and so Ryo knows he's got a protective streak and a knack for handling kids.

The second is Pi, but not because Pi is any kind of genius with kids. It's more because Pi and Mami-chan share a brain and usually get too caught up in serious conversations about the probable color of unicorn vomit to get into trouble.

Jin sends Mami-chan presents from the States every few months. They're getting bigger and bigger the longer he goes without seeing her, and Ryo's been getting more and more pointed emails from Mami-chan's mother about them. I'm not always home when they're delivered and the neighbors are starting to spread weird rumors about me. Stop. Him!

Ryo sees Mami-chan every other month, if he can. She knows his face and she smiles whenever she sees him, but she's always shy around him for at least an hour before she opens up enough to laugh at his disgruntled faces or hug his arm while he helps her fill in the pages of her coloring book.

Johnny finds out about Mami-chan when several photos surface of Ryo crouching down in front of her in a tiny neighborhood park beaming up at her with something even brighter than his sincerest idol smile.

[liliths-child.livejournal.com]

Ryo and Shige seen at a club "together". Yes, in *that* way.

[bloodybrilliant.livejournal.com]

Okura and Ryo caught coming out of a love hotel. TOGETHER. ON ECSTASY.

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

I. NEED TO RESEARCH THIS BEFORE I WRITE ANYTHING. XD

[ryogrande.livejournal.com]

i have no idea who you write in news/kat-tun, so i give options. :DDDD

1. KAME AND UEDA REALLY HATE EACH OTHER AND BITCHFIGHT OFTEN. WITH BOXING GLOVES.

2. YAMAPI HATES NEWS AND WANTS TO BE SOLO LIKE HIS BOYFRIEND HOMEBOY JIN.

3. NAKAMARU HAS A HAREM OF WOMEN AND IS KNOWN FOR HIS "ORESAMA SWITCH" (IN BED).

4. KAME AND/OR KOKI PREFER TRANSSEXUALS, AND WHY.

and finally, because somebody other than me should write this, 5. KAME HAS A BELLY SO OBVIOUSLY HE MUST BE MPREGGO.

[liliths-child.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I can totally see Koki having a thing for transexuals!

[epicwaters.livejournal.com]

x'D all I can think of are sad situations X'D

Pairing/Characters: FLAT FIVE FLOWERS
SCANDAL!: Subaru really did want to start a band with them.

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

N'aw! I like this! But how would it be a scandal?

[epicwaters.livejournal.com]

Pairing/Characters: Hina, Toda Erika, Haruna Ai
SCANDAL!: The real reason Toda broke up with Hina; he wouldn't shut up about Ai-chan xD

[fuyukoi.livejournal.com]

:D -> Subaru takes his love for pornos to this next level and convinces Yasu to make one with him for his ~private collection~

D: -> Somebody gets their hands on the sextape and leaks it ._.

[spurious.livejournal.com]

Maru is caught in a threesome with a 65 year old woman and a sumo wrestler.

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

I JUST STARTED LAUGHING LIKE A CRAZY LUNATIC PSYCHOPATH IN THE TRAIN STATION. XDDDD

I LOVE YOUR MIND HOLY RAINBOW-FUCKING ARASHI ORGIES. XDDD

[spurious.livejournal.com]

Tegoshi's rumored blonde girlfriend is actually himself in drag.

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure how to go at this because I know of the rumor, but I didn't hear the whole thing, so I'm confused. XD Did people see him with a blonde? How could he be the blonde if people saw him with the blonde? And if no one saw him with a blonde then how did people make the connection to Tegoshi and not someone else? Was she, like, spotted leaving his apartment building?

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

YOKO SECRETLY IS A SECRET RANGER WHO PROTECTS THE EARTH


THE REST OF KANJANI FIND OUT!!!

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

The last time the seven of them were in Johnny's office at the same time, it was to discuss their sneaking into Arashi's dressing room at Countdown and locking Arashi out. That time, they all knew why they'd been called; this time, they're mostly clueless.

Except Yoko, who's chewing his thumbnail and focused on looking casual.

Until Johnny says, "Yoko," and Yoko squeaks, "Yes, sir?"

"Do you have superpowers you neglected to mention in your audition?"

The rest of his group are giving him expectant looks.

"Uh," Yoko says, grimacing, "no?"

Johnny turns the photos on his desk face up and Yasu breathes, "Cool!" in a tone of deep envy and astonishment.

Yoko's real superhero costume is dark green because fuck Ohkura. The belt is silver. That's where Yasu's fashion-fanboying eyes are stuck.

Subaru breaks the silence by cackling.

Hina's arm twitches as a reflex, but he's busy staring at the photo like he's tempted to join in Subaru's reaction.

Johnny says, "You're taking a film crew on your next mission."

Yoko says meekly, "Yes, sir."

[fuyukoi.livejournal.com]

NIPPLE CHU D: ... :D

XDDDD BECAUSE YES

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

Imai has had significantly more to drink than Takizawa–his face is bright red and for the last hour or so he's been prone to laughing so hard he doesn't make a sound. Right now he's slumped on Takizawa's shoulder–Takizawa keeps trying to push him up, but Imai just says, "Be a good pillow," in a tired voice that's muffled by Takizawa's skin.

One of the Juniors brings up Takizawa's nipple complex, which leads to three Juniors leaning over the table to pinch them. Takizawa jerks away and yells, laughing, and Imai wakes up enough to scowl at Takizawa.

Takizawa doesn't notice. He's rubbing one nipple and telling Tatsumi, "That hurt, you brat!"

Imai yawns and kisses Takizawa's nipple between Takizawa's fingers. Then he settles back on Takizawa's shoulder and closes his eyes.

The Juniors cackle for a solid ten seconds while Takizawa whines about embarrassment so powerful it'll probably kill him.


On Tuesday, Johnny says, "Did this happen more than once?"

Tsubasa would like to say, "No, only once," but Johnny has two photographs that would make it sound kind of exactly like the lie it is.

So instead he says, "Twice."

And Hideaki, because he's profoundly stupid and hasn't looked at the photos frowns and says, "It was three." To his credit, he immediately looks like he wants to cuff himself in the back of the head the way Tsubasa dearly wants to right now.

"Right," Johnny says. "Just. Don't let the underage Juniors sexually harass you, Takizawa."

"Understood, sir."

Johnny looks at Tsubasa for a long second, twitches, and says, "Dismissed."